I am NOT an advice columnist. Ha, little did you know, today I’m making an exception.
Here it is: Every so often – the more frequent, the better – grab a pen, even a pencil will do. Take out a sheet of paper, which can be stationery, but it needn’t be. And… drum roll, write a personal note.
You need not open a vein, but again, you be you. Then, stick it in an envelope, address and stamp it, and send it off to the appropriate individual(s). It's an easy assignment since it could be a note of thanks, a hooray / congratulations, a “when I encountered this, I thought of you”. Or just a simple act of outreach.
Let me tell you about a late friend of mine, who was extraordinary at this artform. “MS” was a Fox Valley (Wisconsin) friend when we lived in Appleton from 1988-’94. He was an easy-going, retired “captain of industry,” a well-deserved title I don’t use often.
MS was also an exceptional class act. Daily, he sat at his desk and scribbled out a hand-written note to someone he thought needed a way-to-go message or who merited his gratitude. One every day. Suffice to say, MS became a GREAT note-writer, a fact known by his many colleagues and contemporaries.
At one point, he suggested, tactfully that I might wish to do something comparable. Without doubt, his most persuasive urging was to make me an occasional recipient of one of his brief epistles.
Oh, I tried to mimic MS for maybe a year or two, mailing off a quarterly (??) note… then, after several years, reduced this to maybe sending one or two such notes every twelve months. After a couple years, I gave up.
Nevertheless, the MS model is – yes, always was – a good one, even though at half my current age, apparently I lacked the required discipline. So now, these many years later, what’s changed?
Again, it’s being a recipient. Paula and I recently hosted a dear friend for several days. Upon his departure, he handed me a handwritten note (see above) sealed in an envelope. I believe it would have been equally effective had it been received via mail several days later.
I now pass along MS’s note-writing habit to you as a suggestion, not too concerned the U.S. Post Office will be overwhelmed. It’s a superb habit that will ripple throughout your friend set in ways that emails, texts, even phone calls cannot, due in part to the fact that it will be the only hand-written missive your recipient gets that day. Trust me.
The note I received was unusually generous; it’s obvious no fact-checking AI pass was undertaken. Your note need not be as articulate or heartfelt. It will still register.
Every so often, it doesn’t hurt to tell someone how you feel. It may actually do some good. I know the great warmth of this note will be felt every time I read it for the next few decades.
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I’m pleased to be part of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative. Here’s a complete list of my remarkably talented IWC colleagues:
Thank you for reminding us that a thoughtful note is so important. I remember my mom saved every note she ever got from her grandchildren and would read them over and over as they grew up, got busy, and sent notes less often. My mom understood that would happen which is why every note from the scribblings of toddlers to the thoughtful notes of young adults became a treasure. She told me that reading them again and again was a gift for which she would always be grateful.
I love this. The best (and least) I can do is that I hand write (brief) notes into traditional Christmas cards every year, and post them in the traditional mail. True, my card count shrinks as the cost of stamps rises and my address books fills with lost or now deceased friends. Still, I have no plans to give up.